yeah no i shouldn’t have watched that good sweet god that made me think way too much about stuff i don’t even ever want to go anywhere near fuck
I’ve been noodling over this post for the past few days, and I think it’s almost right, in that Dean throws out the sexual barb because he almost certainly knows that he’s Cas’s weak spot.
And yet… I think the person Dean’s really digging at here isn’t Cas, but himself. He’s the one sexually attracted to Cas: he’s the one who can’t stop looking at Cas’s lips, who always looks so uncomfortable when Cas crowds his personal space. And Dean hates himself for it, because he knows that this is an angel of the Lord, the holiest of the holy, and he—well, what is he? He’s the blood-stained fuck-up, the man-sized hole of Daddy issues and neediness, the demon who never deserved to be saved from the Pit. What business does he have feeling something so dark and needy and human about an entity as good and heavenly as Cas, someone who so profoundly believes in Dean’s non-existent righteousness, who talks about him in terms of “special” and “saved” and “profound bond”, who rebelled against the divine plan and the entire Host of Heaven, and sacrificed everything, just for him, all for him? Dean knows it’s disrespectful, this dark and small and petty human sexual attraction, he knows it’s wrong and unreciprocated and he wishes he could make himself stop but he can’t, he just can’t.
Remember what the Dean!Leviathan says about Dean? “He doesn’t have relationships; he has applications for sainthood”. For nobody is that more applicable than Cas (which is why Cas’s eventual betrayal hurts Dean so much). To S5!Dean, Cas is a concept, a creature so innocent and pure Dean didn’t even think it existed until it saved him from eternal damnation.
So when Cas revokes his faith in him in that second GIF; when Cas says, essentially, “you are no longer worth my faith in you”, that’s when Dean snaps, because that hurts so much, too much, and all he can think to do is lash out with the one thing he thinks will hurt the most — except he doesn’t stop to wonder who he’s really trying to hurt here.
That’s why, when Dean says “Blow me”, Cas seems more confused than anything else — he can tell that Dean is angry, and he’s angry too, but more than that, Cas doesn’t understand why Dean chose to express himself with those specific words.
But to Dean, the innuendo makes perfect sense; it’s a form of self-harm, of self-torture. In the same way he bitterly tells Kevin (twice) that angels are “junkless”, it reminds him of what he wants but can never, ever have.
Because Dean trained under Alistair, he knows all the best ways to torture a man, to make him break, and deep down he knows that what he feels for Cas is what will break him; or, more specifically, what will break him is that Cas can never feel what he feels, that angels just don’t have the equipment to feel that way, that whenever they try, it just breaks them apart.
And I eagerly await the day Dean realizes he was wrong.
That last line broke me.
SO I’M PRETTY SURE THAT NAOMI IS USING HER MIND MANIPULATION TO ALTER CAS’ PERCEPTION OF REALITY SO HE THINKS HE IS STABBING HER BUT INSTEAD IT’S DEAN AND WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
guys wait a second….. i just thought of something…
what if cas is a regular in season 9 because they make him the bad guy? so the entire season will be like cas taking crowley and dick’s place?
what if? i’ll puke all over my apartment and then kill myself later
can u not
YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE GONNA CRY
I CAN’T HANDLE THIS
i lose it everytime i see the twins i try not to but i cant i just go in a ball and start crying its just… the twins should be together they never deserved to be apart
Dean: “I did everything I could to get you out. Everything. I did not leave you.”
Cas: “So you think this was your fault?”
People talk about how they’ll never be over the hug and the “I need you,” but you know what I’ll never get over? Dean’s face when Cas lets go. He just looks shattered, like he had everything he’d ever wanted only to have someone snatch it away without telling him why. It’s not the same as when Cas betrayed him, or when Cas died even- it’s a look of pure incomprehension right as the pain hits. With one action Cas reduced this hardened, bloody warrior into a little boy, lost and confused, and the only time I can think of when Dean fully shows us that part of him is when he’s overwhelmed in an insane asylum. It’s no wonder Dean reworked this memory, because there can be no doubt that this is one of the most painful moments in his pain-filled life.